April 2025
On mindset shifts, painting, and other good things.
Image above: a series of Death Valley color study thumbnails. I’ve been trying to draw things from memory rather than photos after a 6 year old called me out on needing to look at my subject so closely.
Something About Mindset Shifts & Energy
It is once again the last day of the month and I’ve once again struggled for the past 30 days to decide on something to report here that is honest about the state of the world while still managing to be, at it’s core, a “good thing”— something that instills hope or inspiration or at the very least is not as completely demoralizing as many of the things I see published these days. So much around us (and in us?) lately is shifting, tense, and uncertain, and it feels like we’re all anxiously waiting for the other shoe to drop. In the midst of everything, it’s been hard for me to stay calm, grounded, and focused on what’s important (see: February’s email), which has resulted in me thinking up new things I might want to say here throughout the month, only to change my mind days or maybe even hours later as my thoughts and feelings evolve during this volatile time.
The astrologists I follow all seemed to note that after a rough start to the year, a meaningful shift would occur at the end of March. They reported that the close of the month would bring clarity to those who worked hard and stayed focused on “what was important” during the first quarter of the year. Though I don’t treat astrological readings as roadmaps for my life, I find it helpful (and more importantly, fun) to take what feels supportive from readings when I can. I found this particular prediction to be helpful in the midst of struggling to maintain the motivation to trudge forward through a few very difficult months, so I continued to tell myself that April would bring at least a bit of rest and stability after a challenging first quarter of the year.
When April arrived, however, I didn’t find any of the changes that I expected. Instead, I felt just as much chaos and unrest as I had previously, if not even more so. I was ready to stop listening to astrologers for good until it hit me: maybe there was a shift in front of me that I simply wasn’t seeing. I had been focused on a very specific way that I’d hoped things would lighten up around me, but when I stopped to take stock, I realized that if I changed my perspective a bit, what I was looking for was already there for me to access even if it didn’t look the way I had originally imagined. I realized that if I’m always looking for bad things, I will always find them. And, on the flip side: if I keep my senses tuned to what feels good, more positive opportunities will present themselves. Instead of waiting for the world to change, I needed to change my mindset to focus on what is in my control and the opportunities in front of me in order to create the positive energy I was searching for.
Though I don’t practice reiki as formally as I once did, energy work is still a big part of my life. I’ve found myself tuning in to my energy more often recently as I’ve been faced with choices about where I want my life to go and how I want to show up in the world. I’m sure you’ve experienced that when you focus on the mounting problems around you (personal problems, national problems, global problems), things feel darker and heavier, not just mentally but often physically and certainly energetically. Conversely, when you do things or are around people you love, you may feel energized, lighter, and more like your “true self.” This may sound simple and obvious, but I think we underestimate the power of building positive creative energy through investing in fulfilling activities and relationships, especially in this digital age. Have you ever come up with a great solution for a tough problem just by staring at it on a screen? Maybe, but likely not as often as you have after leaving your workspace to take a walk, have a conversation, or do another energizing activity, right? As the world seems to get darker, I’m trying to remind myself that staring at the problems isn’t the best way to make a positive impact. Instead, following the things that interest and inspire me can not only lead to new ways of solving problems, but together we can grow this energy and can create shifts that are much larger than ourselves.
My hope for all of us is that we can collectively recharge and keep our energy focused in the areas that feel most natural and energizing to us. By not letting our energy get drained by things that aren’t energizing (social media? the news*? pick your poison) and instead following what feels good and being our most true selves, we can inspire others to do the same and ultimately change the frequency of the whole world. Is that too woo woo, naive, or overly optimistic? Maybe, but I think we could all use a bit more optimism right now.
*Just want to say: I’m not saying we should stick our heads in the sand and hope this whole thing doesn’t come off as reductive “sending good vibes” rhetoric. Rather, we won’t have the energy to do what’s necessary to stand up for the communities and issues that need us if we’re drained by the weight of the world all the time, you know? You get it!
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Some Little Pictures:
(from top left to bottom right)
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Image above: an example of an AI generated music channel. You’ve been warned!
April Playlist: More Music
The other day I was talking to my husband about the little ambient youtube videos (like this) I often listen to in the background while I’m working and he asked “I wonder if those are made with AI?” It had never crossed my mind that that may be the case— it turns out I’m less AI literate than I’d like to think and I hadn’t realized that people were doing this sort of thing with music/youtube channels!
Needless to say I stopped this habit immediately and have instead been looking for more great ambient background music created by actual artists (shameless plug: Adam himself makes music that is great for this!). So far I’ve loved SUUNS radio and “instrumental jazz” playlists but very open to suggestions if anyone has great recs.
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Image above: two works in progress. I love this easel that lets me paint side by side! honestly didn’t even know it was an option— thanks Facebook Marketplace. Also please excuse the cord hanging over the right painting, I didn’t notice this and now can’t unsee it.
Recent Work: Exploring With Paints
I’m happy to report that installing a gigantic easel in my studio has been a great reminder to paint more and that having this space set up all the time has led to more painting! In addition to painting bigger, one of my goals this year is to figure out once and for all (or at least for now) whether or not acrylic paints are a viable option for me. In college I painted in oils, so they are what I know best, but I’ve always been drawn to the allure of a less smelly, less toxic option. Though I switched to water-based oil paints, the smell is still strong and there is still a lot more cleanup/solvents than acrylic.
So, in my recent paintings I’m really trying to get a handle on acrylics to decide if they are something I want to lean into more or set aside for now. Some things I’ve learned so far that might be helpful to others interested in acrylics:
More is better! I need much more paint to get that “smooth” feeling that comes naturally with oils. With oils, I can paint very thin and things stay wet and easy to blend, but with acrylics I find that things get sticky pretty quickly, so adding more helps.
Mediums are my friend. I used to think that I could just add water to acrylics to extend them, but this actually compromises the quality of the paint and was resulting in some pretty funky looking layers of paint. Since I like my paintings to have more of a matte sheen, I’ve been leaning heavily on matte medium to extend my paints and that’s been super helpful as I learn to mix and use more paint consistently.
Acrylics will never be oil paints. When I was researching the best way to transition from oils to acrylics online, many people recommended using Golden’s OPEN acrylic line since they stay wetter longer, just like oil paints. Though I can vouch for the fact that they do stay wetter longer, that’s about the only way they resemble oils (and the time to dry is still MUCH quicker than oils). These paints still have that sticky, plasticky quality that I’m trying to cope with. So just saying: if you’re hoping OPEN acrylics will solve you’re problems, I’m here to tell you that they likely will not.
I’ve found that it’s been more helpful to try to embrace acrylics for what they are and to discover how I like to use them than to try to get them to work in any way that resembles oil paints. It’s honestly been pretty hard to start from scratch with something, especially a medium that has always been challenging for me, but I’m learning to embrace the process and enjoy the mistakes and breakthroughs that come with experimenting with new mediums. I hope to share more of the process with ya’ll!
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Some Other Good Things
My YouTube algorithm recently resurfaced this DJ set that Shallou recorded from his couch during the pandemic and it still slaps. My fav thing to listen to when writing therapy notes!
Also recently discovered this channel thanks to the YouTube algorithm— perfect escapist/calming material. Puppies and kittens and bunnies and birds all living and playing in harmony?? Also am now currently shopping for a rustic scythe.
I went from being a little turned off by the tone and bias of this article on AI art/AI in general to being fully on board by the end. SPOILER ALERT: the conclusion really slaps:
“The left is powerless across much of society, but a training in ruthless criticism of all that exists has made us masters of negativity, while always keeping one eye on the better world that is possible when the slop has been cleared away. Our most effective weapons against AI, and the right wing that has adopted it, may not be strikes, boycotts or the power of dialectics. They might be replying ‘cringe,’ ‘this sucks,’ and ‘this looks like shit.’”I finished Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman and do recommend it! Honestly though, what I’d recommend even more is simply a morning practice that doesn’t involve a phone. I think what I enjoyed even more than the little bits of wisdom in this book is taking a moment every morning to sit down and relax with a cup of coffee and a book. It really helped set the tone for the day!
I’ve been reading a lot of good books lately— another one I really liked is I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman. I was on the fence at the beginning (the writing style is pretty unique and I wasn’t sure if it was for me at first), but I quickly got sucked into the world and found myself looking forward to entering it again and again.
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Thanks for reading – see you next month!