February 2026
On rituals, 100 day projects, and other good things.
On rituals
I am not immune to the allure of a new year refresh and lately have been thinking about what daily habits I’d like to change/add/do away with to help myself live a life that feels even more fulfilling and aligned with my values. When it comes to actually making changes, I often use little tricks like those found in James Clear’s Atomic Habits: habit stacking, keeping it small, incorporating rewards, etc. Each year I go through this process and each year inevitably some habits stick but many fall off until the next year when I repeat the process over again.
Some habits seem to stick better than others, any recently I’ve been looking closer at why that is. When I’m more mindful about choosing and practicing habits and infuse them with intention and joy, they tend to feel better and more meaningful and I naturally want to continue doing them. Rather than taking action for the sake of productivity or life optimization, doing things to enrich my spirit or bring more joy or connection to my life tends to stick more strongly and, more importantly, tends to feel more restorative and help me keep my energy balanced.
While I’m a big proponent of structure and the value of habits and routines, I wonder if what we really need in our lives these days are more rituals. While habits and routines are automatic and functional, rituals are intentional and meaningful. They can range from giving thanks before eating a meal to blowout weddings or annual holidays. One thing I love about rituals is the way they can mark the passage of time, in big and small ways. I have little rituals that are daily (little acts of gratitude and energy cleansing), weekly (planning and cleaning), monthly (writing this newsletter!), and yearly (setting annual intentions, completing annual cleanouts), and combined with celebrations of life, love, and death, all these rituals form memories that transform my life from a sequence of actions into a delectable existence filled with meaning. Some rituals, like those to mark and celebrate the changing of the seasons or even getting my period every 4 weeks, help me feel connected to my ancestors and the natural world around me. In our modern age it can be easy to get lost in the shuffle and speed of our digitally optimized lives; rituals can help us slow down and connect to something bigger than ourselves.
Anything can be transformed from a habit into a ritual. For instance, you can have a habit of brushing your teeth for two minutes a day in which you simply go to your sink, complete the two minutes of brushing, and move on, OR you can create a ritual of self care in which you notice each tooth as you polish it, giving thanks to your chompers for all the work they do for you and taking care in your task.
While it may be ideal to be mindful and intentional of every task you undertake, let’s be real: turning every single task into a little ritual is not super realistic. Maybe you read the tooth brushing example above and thought “yeah right, who actually has the time and energy to thank each of their teeth every night!” I feel you so I choose to focus on a handful of rituals that are important to me and connect to my core values or things I’m currently looking to improve. Here are some of my current favorite little rituals:
Monthly cleansing/intention setting. On the first day of the month, I do a tarot reading, journal spread, cleanse the energy of myself and the house, and set an intention for the month ahead. Say what you will about tarot or sage or woo woo things in general, but there is something really refreshing and grounding about taking a minute to reset for the month ahead. I personally love using natural tools like sage, feathers, and rocks during this ritual because I’m an online girlie and the more nature I can bring into my house and daily practices the better!
Making a little matcha latte in the middle of a stressful day. I have a beautiful little matcha set complete with a handmade matcha bowl and little wooden whisk and scooper that I love to use, and completing this act never fails to make me feel more calm and grounded.
Lighting a candle. So simple and so powerful! This one always transforms my mood and my mindset. The key to making this act a ritual for me is being mindful and setting an intention when I do the lighting, like “I’m going to be present during this therapy session” or “I’m going to focus and complete this task and have a lovely time doing it.”
Getting ready for bed. I value my sleep a LOT and have found that when I’m not mindful about my bedtime routine my sleep always suffers, so ritualizing this one was key for me. Lately my bedtime ritual vibe has been very victorian era lady coded: I treat all my clothes with care as I put them away, as if they’re the only clothes I own; I give my hair lots of brushing and take time to do my skincare routine as if screens were never invented and the mirror is the only thing I have to gaze at; I incorporate herbal scents and natural textures that make me feel like a fairy princess who is about to sleep under a giant leaf; and the whole time, I think about how grateful I am for my body and my home and all the good things in my life.
Walking my dog. This one’s a real 2-in-1 because I get to have a little ritual around walking in nature AND I get to connect to an animal that I love. I’ll admit, sometimes I listen to podcasts while on my dog walks and honestly those walks don’t really feel like rituals because I get lost in my stories and am not fully present and intentional. The best walks are when I’m fully present and connected to my dog and we’re both experiencing the nature around us, taking in all the sights, sounds, smells, and textures. My dog is much better at this than I am!
There is more I want to say about rituals and their power to connect us to time and space and spirits, but I’m just going to leave it here for now. What little rituals do you like to do? I want to hear them all!
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Some Little Pictures
(from top left to bottom right)
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Recent Work: 100 day project
In 2016, I completed my first 100 day project, “100 Days of Badass Ladies.” This title always makes me cringe— a true sign that 10 big years have passed since then! Recently I had the chance to talk with one of the creators and champions of the 100 day project, Lindsay Jean Thompson, about my experiences working through the project and the learnings I gained along the way. When I went into the call with Lindsay I had no intention of doing another 100 day project, but after speaking with her about all the great things that came out of my previous projects I got a real bug in my ear and now here I am, committing to another 100 days a decade later.
This year I’m doing something a bit different: while in past projects I simply created visual art around specific topics, this year I have an end goal for my project in mind. I’ve long wanted to create an “offline deck” filled with lots of ideas for things to do off of screens to help people disconnect. So many things have gotten in the way of me finishing this project, but the main one was definitely overthinking. Here are some of the fun self-defeating thoughts I’ve experienced: “Someone’s already done that!” “Nobody wants that.” “You aren’t going to do it right.” etc etc. I can let those thoughts keep stopping me from finishing anything at all, or I can move forward and complete this project day by day and actually get something done. The second option sounds much better to me!
A NOTE: this project will be posted on social media/the internet and the irony of that is not lost on me. However, this also seems like the perfect place for this to be posted. Maybe in a future email I will go off more about my thoughts on this, but for now I will just say: two opposites an be true at the same time.
So please, follow along with me if you like, or better yet, do your own project! It’s not too late and whether you share your work or not, there really is a lot of value to be had from doing something every day for 100 days (or really for as long as you can muster— 30 is fine! 10 is fine!).
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Audio stuff: Rituals
Sometimes searching tracks/albums by key word is an incredible way to discover new music. I had a hunch that songs about rituals would deliver and they sure do! Definitely a vibe. Enjoy!
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Some Other Good Things
Two great little essays about AI: first, this essay from Haley Nahman that reminds us that the world AI pushers are threatening is not the actual world that most of us live in (or want to live in) day to day. Second, this piece she references by Will Manidis that asks us to consider what the “tool” that is AI is actually creating. So glad to see more great discourse questioning the relentless proliferation of AI.
This video about bringing the outdoors in— lots of great tips in here but also the video itself is just so calming!
This vibe:
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Thanks for reading – see you next month!
was just reading a book about the way intentional development of our inner world creates meaning in life. the intentionality behind rituals serves to honor your time here <3